And again!
I see it’s been over a monthsince I last posted…where did it go? What have I accomplished?
Don’t answer that.
Yes, I’ve been busy. Yes, I’ve been working. No, I don’t have anything to show for it, or anything I’m ready to show.
Here’s the problem: I don’t have the emotional reserve and energy to blog continuously the way I did back in high school, when blogging was still the hot new thing. Yet I can’t beat this niggling feeling that I need to be recording some thought, somewhere, as a record. I’ve been a diarist since I was in the 4th grade (on the recommendation of Mr. Ostmann, who thought I wrote well but evidently could use some improving) …For so much to go unpreserved is a bit disorienting.
There’s also the “personal brand” factor. I am a big fan of having one’s own personal brand. I’ve been in love with the idea for a very long time. The whole selection and arrangement of distinct factors to present a particularly well-curated version of myself to the world is a fascinating idea, and I cannot deny that a blog is a tool that’s well suited to that tendency.
The problem I’m having right now? Transition.
Musicians that reinvent themselves have the benefit of issuing an album or a video each time they do so. Those discrete units of consumption are great for cognitive digestion. But a blog is a continuous record over time, and for the general public to view the messy, muddled bits while everything is changing and being renovated is a tricky business. And when you have no idea where the hell the destination is, it makes for an inconsistent reading experience.
One possible way around the problem is to make this simply a public diary. That would then encompass all the vagaries of each individual mood; the self-contradiction is a built-in feature of an honest blogger. This is fine. I enjoy many such blogs. But I have not the energy nor the desire to put my internal monologue for the public’s poring over.
Shutting the blog down entirely is another possibility. But I think I rather like the chance to get up on the soapbox if I so choose.