Somehow, that was not the color scheme I imagined for this series.

Also–I wonder what they did with the S&M portion?

Don’t answer that.

Yes, I’ve been busy. Yes, I’ve been working. No, I don’t have anything to show for it, or anything I’m ready to show.

Here’s the problem: I don’t have the emotional reserve and energy to blog continuously the way I did back in high school, when blogging was still the hot new thing. Yet I can’t beat this niggling feeling that I need to be recording some thought, somewhere, as a record. I’ve been a diarist since I was in the 4th grade (on the recommendation of Mr. Ostmann, who thought I wrote well but evidently could use some improving) …For so much to go unpreserved is a bit disorienting.

There’s also the “personal brand” factor. I am a big fan of having one’s own personal brand. I’ve been in love with the idea for a very long time. The whole selection and arrangement of distinct factors to present a particularly well-curated version of myself to the world is a fascinating idea, and I cannot deny that a blog is a tool that’s well suited to that tendency.

The problem I’m having right now? Transition.

Musicians that reinvent themselves have the benefit of issuing an album or a video each time they do so. Those discrete units of consumption are great for cognitive digestion. But a blog is a continuous record over time, and for the general public to view the messy, muddled bits while everything is changing and being renovated is a tricky business. And when you have no idea where the hell the destination is, it makes for an inconsistent reading experience.

One possible way around the problem is to make this simply a public diary. That would then encompass all the vagaries of each individual mood; the self-contradiction is a built-in feature of an honest blogger. This is fine. I enjoy many such blogs. But I have not the energy nor the desire to put my internal monologue for the public’s poring over.

Shutting the blog down entirely is another possibility. But I think I rather like the chance to get up on the soapbox if I so choose.

Trundling off to transcribe my Business Associations notes now.

I’m writing for an audience of myself and fractions of viewers, so the pointless woolgathering will continue. Also, am currently in love with Elizabeth Bear’s LJ style. It’s like Naomi Novik’s, but more prolific! Links to come later.

I will note that lyrics are now up on the Dr. Horrible website, and I got a couple things wrong on Slipping. Will fix later.

(Reminders to myself, sorry. Interesting things in a bit.)

I’ve been thinking, lately, about how 2005-2006 was a terrible year, and how 2008 is turning out spectacularly. It’s almost two thirds done and it still feels like its just begun, ambivalent feelings of my-has-time-really-flown-by-that-fast and when-will-the-end-of-the-year-come-already. 2008 wasn’t an easy year, but at least it’s got a few things to show for itself.

Oh, and it looks like I should have a relatively laid back school year (for, you know, my general standards of laid back…which really means I’ll just be always busy, but not stressed and hopefully not too sleep deprived). Here’s to hoping.

So it looks like I can’t do more than about 800-1000 words per day before I run straight into writing fatigue and end up surfing the internet for hours on end. Very well then. Duly noted–next time I’ll intersperse it with something else. (The other thing that’s a Rewrite, perhaps?)

It’s not a lot. I could do the same work in about two hours without having to sit here for the additional four. It occurs to me that this is why I didn’t head straight into a professional fiction writing career–asides from not having much material, I can’t POSSIBLY imagine sitting down and doing this for eight hours a day.

What this means, really, is that Elizabeth Bear is some sort of mutant freak. Or nuclear powered. Probably nuclear powered, given her fitness regimen. I can only aspire.

Am going to attempt a corn salad, working sans recipe and, essentially, off the cuff. Wish me luck.

Edit: This is one of those “Today I had a grilled cheese sandwich” entries, isn’t it? Salad turned out okay. Would have liked some sun-dried tomatoes.

Edit2: Apparently all it needed was to cool down a bit, and the flavors totally mellowed out and blended together. Holy cow.

Focus, veebrain, focus. Jack of all trades and master of none…yet.

If that makes no sense, it’s because I should be in bed.

As of now, 96 cards done and most of the way through Act III. The important bits, anyway. I’m plotting roughly on the Greek Three Act structure, but it might break down into more, depending. Beat sheet keeps doing funky things. Also got a phone call from James AD today (who will probably be the producer on this project). It amused me. But I do like the guy–otherwise I wouldn’t bother working with him.

This appeared as a moral dilemma
‘Cause at first it was weird that
I swore to eliminate the worst of the plague
That devoured humanity
It’s true, I was vague on the how–
So how can it be that you
Have shown me the light?

It’s a brand new day
And the sun is high
All the birds are singin’
That you’re gonna die
How I hesitated
Now I wonder why
It’s a brand new day

All the times that you beat me unconscious
I’ll forgive
All the crimes incomplete, listen–
Honestly, I’ll live
Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-it-all is through!
And now the future’s so bright
And I owe it all to you
To show me the light
It’s a brand new me
I got no remorse
Now the water’s rising
But I know the course!
I’m gonna shock the world
Gonna show Bad Horse
It’s a brand new day

And Penny will see the evil me
Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure
And she may cry but her tears will dry
When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia

It’s a brand new day
Yeah the sun is high
All the angels sing
Because you’re gonna die
Go ahead and laugh
Yeah I’m a funny guy
Tell everyone goodbye

It’s a brand new day…